Get Emotional, Then Get Practical

Just got engaged? Congratulations! Go ahead, get all emotional. Then, get practical. There’s only one other person besides you and your fiancé who HAS to be there. So on your checklist, first book the venue. Then book your officiant. Call me! (540) 577-8854

 

Wedding Wire Award

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I’m so happy and grateful that this week, I won the Wedding Wire Couple’s Choice Award for Wedding Officiation for the second year in a row! This award goes to the top 5% of wedding professionals nationwide in the Wedding Wire Community, as based on reviews by couples, so is is a real honor and I deeply appreciate it. Thanks so much to all the couples for your kind support. <3 <3

A Touch of Class

It’s important to consider how your date responds to your talents and successes. Does he encourage and support you? Or does he derive his sense of well-being from devaluing others, including you?

Offering a positive model: George Clooney’s light, graceful, and totally cool response at the Globes and in an after show interview. He enthusiastically demonstrated his respect and admiration for wife Amal. as reported by Jenelle Riley of Variety.

“He was a good sport about hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler opening the show with a joke about how he was getting a Lifetime Achievement award despite the amazing accomplishments of his new wife. “I didn’t even think that was a joke,” he said, before adding, “Listen, Tina and Amy kill me. I think they’re the best hosts of this show I’m sorry they’re not going to do it again.”

Observe and listen. Is he gallant? Encouraging? A selfish man is a man with a very fragile ego. He will often bait the target of his conquest with flattery and then, once he feels he has secured her commitment to him, begin a devaluing process to assure himself that he is the man he wishes he were: Top Boss, and in control of everyone, as if they were his possessions. Do not be impressed by overzealous compliments and do not tolerate putdowns, whether direct or indirect (left-handed compliment, sarcasm, unsolicited inventory or advice calculated to make you doubt yourself).

A man doesn’t have to be wealthy, famous, wear a tux to fancy dinners, or look like a modern Cary Grant to show his class. He only needs to have a decent sense of who he is, be kind, and act like a gentleman.
#datingcoach #coachforwomen #selfishmen #narcissists #redflags #onlinedating

 

Dating Advice for Women: Self-Protection 101: Listen

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Sometimes a predator alert can be as simple as listening to the words a man says and taking them seriously, rather than as a joke. In other words, believe what you hear. Don’t dismiss it and don’t rationalize it. The selfish man has no conscience and will not feel genuine remorse. But sometimes, he will blurt out his truth on impulse, when he has nothing left to lose, for an ego thrill, or as a kind of manipulation. “If I say the truth,” he figures, “it will sound so preposterous that people will be disarmed by it and believe the opposite.” When done by public people, it is also a way of ridiculing whistleblowers and projecting the shame on them.

The Associated Press reports, “A woman who got up from one of the front rows and walked past the stage was asked by Cosby where she was going. When she answered that she was going to the lobby to grab a drink Cosby responded: ‘You have to be careful about drinking around me.’The remark was met with loud applause.”

Haha, right? If you hear your date or potential date describe himself negatively, don’t laugh it off. #datingcoach #coachforwomen #onlinedating #narcissists #predators #selfishmen #redflags

-Kanta Bosniak

About My Coaching

Coaching and Guided Meditation (aka transpersonal hypnosis) is partly listening. What is the goal?

And understanding. What is the limiting belief? What would be a better story?

And intuition. Tuning in to the person’s inner mythology, archetypes, inner essence, and highest potential.

And writing, How would the new story best be told so as to be the most meaningful for this person?

It’s partly the facilitation of relaxation. In other words, teaching the client to get into a meditative state, in which she can best make the shift she wants to make.

And it’s part performance, both improvisational and planned. A performance, or set of performances tailored for an unique, individual. An audience of one.

A very specific and highly specialized combination of skills that I happen to have and have developed over many years. I love this work!

-Kanta Bosniak

The Gift of Time: Goodbye “Try”; Hello, Spiritual Warrior!

With a new year approaching, we are reminded of the realities of time. We may be eternal beings, but we only get so many years to be who we are right now, with this specific set of experiences, understandings and abilities. We have choices. Will we spend our time preparing to live the life we have envisioned, or will we simply decide to take the risk of living that life and do it? “Trying” and “struggling,” at a certain point become not so heroic. They lose their charm and glamor and we see them as what they really are: the pain-body pretending to succeed, while in fact, dedicated to failure. As Yoda said, “There is no ‘try,’ Luke Skywalker. There is only do.”

Timeless Love inspires confidence. The awareness of Time of inspires personal heroism. The sweet spot is to feel as loved as a baby, while at the same time to take the bold, decisive actions of a fully mature spiritual warrior. In truth, the more we let ourselves feel that inner love and surround ourselves with those who love and support us, the braver we can be. Let’s rock 2015, friends!  -Kanta Bosniak

Christmas Memories

Dollhouses, gingerbread houses, train-set worlds, fairy tales, frozen icicles hanging from the big rocks on Lincoln Drive. Christmas lights on the boathouses along the Schuylkill River. My mother making jars and jars of cookies. The magical tree and decorated boughs on every windowsill scenting our whole house. The light show at what they now call Macy’s, but what will always be Wanamaker’s to me.

Always a big party for my father’s Penn folks. Cocktails, music, dancing. Dad p…laying the piano and some lady signing. My little sister and brother and I could hear them from upstairs in my sister’s room, where we had our own little kid party with a pint-sized record player and fancy snacks. To this day, my mainstay supper is a little plate of hors d’oevres and a mug of really good coffee or tea. One of my ways of celebrating Christmas every day

 

 

Happy Solstice!

On our way back home from picking up my Dad at Penn or Christmas shopping in Center City, I liked to look out the window and see the icicles emerging from the wet rocks on Lincoln Drive. They looked so magical. I liked the subtle beauty of browns, grays and whites. So different from the bright colors of Christmas. More about the life that lay dormant, yet powerful, under the surface. Life that would always prevail.  Even its wintry disappearance seemed a kind of mocking of darkness. “You may not see me now”, it sang in its low bass. “But I am always here and I will show myself to you soon enough. Have faith, child.”

 

An Artist’s Prayer

c Kanta Bosniak

c Kanta Bosniak

An Artist’s Prayer

Beloved, may I humbly express

that Beauty that shines from within

sing the song you inspire

and cherish with your heart.

You are the artist and the work

the poem and the poet

the singer and the song

the lover and the loved.

-Kanta Bosniak

image: The central image of this graphic,”Diving Expression.” is a mixed media painting. It was part of “Icons and Sacred Threads,” a solo show at Omega Institute that coincided with my first of two teaching stints there as Artist-in-Residence. It sold to an anonymous collector. I love making art that is interactive- i.e. which includes an adornment which you can remove, wear and replace. Kind of like wardrobe sharing with your bestie, the Divine Feminine.

The Best Things in Life

c Kanta Bosniak

c Kanta Bosniak

I saw a post that reiterated that old cliché that “the best things in life are free.” It included cutely drawn images that represented things like “Love, kisses, memories…” These things, like freedom, and personal integrity, are not free. A romantic relationship requires commitment, transparency, the sharing of power, trustworthiness, loyalty, physical and energetic sexual fidelity. It requires consistency. Honorable dealings over time that build trust… and earn respect. It requires that you ask yourself before you take an action how it will affect the other and your relationship. It requires cherishing the partner and showing your love in ways that delight, encourage, inspire and strengthen his or her confidence and unfolding path to full potential. Being present to witness, to celebrate successes and console in times of loss.

It requires the willingness to grow as a spiritual being. Not only that you would never consciously harm or fail to consider the other, but that if and when you do fail unconsciously, as all humans do from time to time, that you stop right there. Stop what you are doing, acknowledge the pattern that has heretofore been lurking outside the boundaries of your conscious mind, and take the responsibility to clean it up. A romantic partnership is not free at all. You must surrender the notion of me first with the most. That narcissism which in babies is charming, but which good parents begin to discourage in their toddlers.

I believe that of all things in life, we learn the most in relationship and in relationship we are called to be the best versions of ourselves. And like anything of worth and value, it costs us well-spent effort. Most of all, it requires the sacrifice of that within us which is *not* love. This is the highest price any human being can pay. It changes our relationship with ourselves and our Creator as well as the other, for the love with the Inner Beloved is the intitial and primary one and is reflected in that with our partner. In sacred partnership “God’s will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven” is a daily practice.  The “best things in life: love, kisses and the creation of shared memories,” are expensive, and worth every bit of the cost. For in the surrender of selfishness, we give and receive at the same time.