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It’s important to consider how your date responds to your talents and successes. Does he encourage and support you? Or does he derive his sense of well-being from devaluing others, including you?
Offering a positive model: George Clooney’s light, graceful, and totally cool response at the Globes and in an after show interview. He enthusiastically demonstrated his respect and admiration for wife Amal. as reported by Jenelle Riley of Variety.
“He was a good sport about hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler opening the show with a joke about how he was getting a Lifetime Achievement award despite the amazing accomplishments of his new wife. “I didn’t even think that was a joke,” he said, before adding, “Listen, Tina and Amy kill me. I think they’re the best hosts of this show I’m sorry they’re not going to do it again.”
Observe and listen. Is he gallant? Encouraging? A selfish man is a man with a very fragile ego. He will often bait the target of his conquest with flattery and then, once he feels he has secured her commitment to him, begin a devaluing process to assure himself that he is the man he wishes he were: Top Boss, and in control of everyone, as if they were his possessions. Do not be impressed by overzealous compliments and do not tolerate putdowns, whether direct or indirect (left-handed compliment, sarcasm, unsolicited inventory or advice calculated to make you doubt yourself).
A man doesn’t have to be wealthy, famous, wear a tux to fancy dinners, or look like a modern Cary Grant to show his class. He only needs to have a decent sense of who he is, be kind, and act like a gentleman.
#datingcoach #coachforwomen #selfishmen #narcissists #redflags #onlinedating
Sometimes a predator alert can be as simple as listening to the words a man says and taking them seriously, rather than as a joke. In other words, believe what you hear. Don’t dismiss it and don’t rationalize it. The selfish man has no conscience and will not feel genuine remorse. But sometimes, he will blurt out his truth on impulse, when he has nothing left to lose, for an ego thrill, or as a kind of manipulation. “If I say the truth,” he figures, “it will sound so preposterous that people will be disarmed by it and believe the opposite.” When done by public people, it is also a way of ridiculing whistleblowers and projecting the shame on them.
The Associated Press reports, “A woman who got up from one of the front rows and walked past the stage was asked by Cosby where she was going. When she answered that she was going to the lobby to grab a drink Cosby responded: ‘You have to be careful about drinking around me.’The remark was met with loud applause.”
Haha, right? If you hear your date or potential date describe himself negatively, don’t laugh it off. #datingcoach #coachforwomen #onlinedating #narcissists #predators #selfishmen #redflags